Thaw

kisses
warm like steamy mugs
of chocolate love
on icy mornings

hands
skim gently over
frosted flesh
melting as they go

smile
finds icicle hearts
dripping into puddles
at wellingtoned feet

eyes
spark flame and fire
heating dark night
lighting the way home

french martinis and a brownie to go

that really was an amazing party. When I said all my friends were good looking, intelligent people, i was not kidding was I? I got totally spoiled, but I don't think it will surprise too many people to know that the venti non-fat no-water 6 pump extra hot tazo chai tshirt was my favorite part of the whole night. And its PINK!!!!!

Thanks to all participants involved in making my birthday so much fun!! Maybe 29 won't be so bad after all.

The River Jordan

i am but a little maid
a servant to a prince
i have no place
no birthright
just duties
and a verse

and so i sit in servitude
at feet of bluest blood
my privilege
of royal task
to honor
and to love

my obsession with gwyneth

sweet

and sour

tart and crisp

multicolored

autumn bliss

(apple is not such a bad name)

forgiveness

sorry, she says
but no words come out.
the weakness is cheap
the helplessness vile
tomorrow I will do better
be different
say less
I will not spill my anguish
in hopes that your hands are
cupped eagerly.
I see them there, limply
by your side,
in fists behind your back

sorry, she says
but no words come out
I did not mean to
remind you of she
that has birthed you into
sublime existence
I did not intend to intrude
with my dirty nails
and tatted hair
tomorrow I will know better
ask nothing
require even less
dream more

sorry, she says
but no words come out
apologies are over done
(I know)
as futile as
regrets untasted
remorse unheeded
tomorrow I will be better
your phoenix rising
from ashes inert
to full winged glory
against a setting sun.

Daughter

Her apple blossom cheeks,
And eyes like tortoise shell,
The magic way she speaks,
I’m captive in her spell.

My face is rough and worn,
My voice holds little thrill
And very often scorn,
But yet she loves me still.

Her tiny rosebud hands
Stretch out like flowers in spring,
Of me she naught demands,
But joy is what she brings.

Yet little can I render
Except the breath I give;
And though it’s life I give her,
Its I who’s learnt to live.

self help aisle

stop talking

press firmly and seal

train wrecks of thought
should remain as ghosts
and slip into the mist
instead of barrelling into
tangible existence;
freight cars of
desire-fear-offering
bearing down on
pennies of hope,
left in expectation
upon rusty tracks.

flattery

girl you are a pusher
whoring your ideas on the side
flaunting your cheap thoughts
like body parts seductive
you are feeding your greed
off another's addiction
masking your truth behind
shady temptations
your product is tainted
unwanted repulsive
but you are no novice
no wary beginner
your diamond mine is
really just a bucket of
december ash
with no bottom in sight
and you will pawn your
decaying beliefs to
the reluctant bidder
cause girl you are a pusher

wired

Haahahah. I'm full of it aren't I? I did the right thing for like two and a half seconds and then promptly did the exact thing I wasn't going to do. As long as I'm consistently an idiot. Oh and I am.

The boys are in Cuba making merry mischief. I am awaiting news that they have been turfed from the tiny communist island... I cannot wait to see the videos.

As well, I forgot to mention that the Tragically Hip are quite the live band. It was only my sixth or eighth time seeing them, and they did not disappoint. The urbanized version of 100th Meridian stole the show. Wow. The events preceding and following the show shall remain undisclosed, but it was a very weird night.

If anyone had any doubt, it is official: I love 3am. So if you're up and at it... (whatever "it" happens to be, yikes!) please call or stop by or send random thoughts my way. I won't promise to be coherent or intelligent, but it is my favorite time of day to connect.

It's a full moon out tonight... so here's to all the crazies.

Guilty

it seems to me that life is just a series of missteps, missed chances and bad timing. Everybody wanting someone that they cannot have....

I look like a happy person I've been told. Naw, I'm just good at fakey smiles and guffaws that start in the throat as opposed to the belly. That laugh you hear is actually hysteria.

But im fine, and I love it that there is at least one other person out there who is as crazy as I.

Cheers to Jackie.