yokes on you

sometimes i wonder if there is any point in trying to be skinny. i will never be. i am not built that way. i will not be less broad across my back or suddenly grow "perfect breasts" or my tummy flatten into some pre-motherhood state that i'm not even sure it was ever in in the first place. i can eat right and go to the gym all i want but my arms will never be thin enough to wear the clothes I crave, my thighs never slim enough to pull off bathing attire of any kind. the reality is that i don't want to be just slim, i want to be beautiful. (id like a tiara and a pony while we are at it.) i have to stop talking though, because i am making my self sick.